How to Save a Relationship....PART 1 of 3

If you have the sinking feeling that your relationship is on the rocks, then it's time to reflect on your relationship and try to save it -- if it's worth it. If you want to know how to save your relationship, you have to re-examine your relationship and start to fix all of your problems to the best of your abilities. If you want to know how to save your relationship, just follow these steps.

Part 1 of 3: Reflecting

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   Think about what went wrong. Take some time to go for a walk or write in your journal to think about what went wrong in the relationship. Before you begin to talk about it with your significant other, you need to take the time to really think about the span of your relationship, how things have changed, and what has put the relationship in jeopardy.
   • This could be easy. There could be one major reason: maybe you or your loved one was unfaithful, and that changed the dynamic of the relationship. Maybe your boyfriend has been so depressed since he lost his job that he can't give you the affection you need.
   • More often, there may not be one reason that you can pinpoint, but a series of reasons for why things aren't working out. A lot of little things can start to add up -- for example, maybe he's spending too much time with his friends, or you never make time for each other, and you're both stressing at work.
   • Maybe you're growing incompatible. There's a chance that you've been together for so long that you've become different people over the course of the relationship.
   • There could be a lack of affection or passion. Maybe you and your significant other just aren't that excited about each other anymore. 
   
   
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      Have an honest conversation with your significant other. Once you've had some time to reflect on your relationship, it's time to sit down with your significant other to discuss the course of your relationship. It's likely that this has been a problem for quite some time, so he or she shouldn't be thrown off guard. In any event, you should find the right place and time to open up a discussion about your relationship.
      • Start by letting your significant other talk. Let him say what he thinks went wrong or is going wrong, and discuss whether or not you agree.
      • Be methodical. Though it will hurt, talk about all of the things that have gone wrong.
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      Decide if your relationship is worth fixing. Many relationships end for a good reason, and it's time for you to decide if you even want to fix the relationship before you move forward. Maybe you really love and care about each other and want things to improve -- or maybe there's too much water under the bridge to repair the situation.
      • If one person's infidelity is the root cause, talk about whether or not the other person can really get over it. Though many people can forgive a cheater, many others can never get over it.
      • Decide if you see a future with each other. When you think of the future, is your significant other in it? If you can't see each other together in the long term, then maybe it's time to hit the road.
        
      • Decide if you can work through an external circumstance. Maybe you're unhappy because one of you is recovering from a death in the family, a job loss, or the unhappiness of living in a new and unwelcoming place. See if this will always be a major pitfall of your relationship or if you can work through it.
      • Decide if you two really love and care about each other. If you're still filled with love and affection and want to make things work, then it's time to start making a plan.
        
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      Make a game plan together. It's important that this is a two person process, and that both you and your significant other are committed to making the relationship last. Once you've both decided that you want to save the relationship, then you need to start making a plan for moving forward. Whatever you've been doing is clearly not working, so it's time to find a new way to make your relationship thrive.
      • Decide whether or not you want to see a relationship counsellor. This is a great way to have an objective perspective on how to make things better.
      • Decide how you'll begin to tackle whatever it is that's at the heart of the problem in the relationship.
      • Make time for working on the relationship. Plug "couple time" into your busy schedules and make sure to stick to your routine.